Who exactly is Rihanna? This 19-year-old singer from Barbados is responsible for what might be the year’s biggest hit, “Umbrella,” yet since she first showed up on pop radio in 2005, Rihanna has resisted the ready-made characterizations that typically accompany such an ascent.

“Pon De Replay,” her first single, played up her Caribbean roots with an effervescent dance hall beat, but “S.O.S.” portrayed her as a disco-punk princess, while “Unfaithful” did the grown-up piano-ballad thing. At the MTV Video Music Awards in September, Rihanna joined emo-rock band Fall Out Boy for a performance of her sassy new-wave tune “Shut Up and Drive.” And though her current album is called “Good Girl Gone Bad,” “Umbrella” makes a promise of unwavering devotion.
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If I had a dollar for every time Rihanna or Akon shouted “(blah blah blah) Mon-tree-aaaa-all!” last night, I’d have retired to Bermuda by now. The co-headliners needn’t have stopped at the dollar store of stage banter so often; anyone so easily impressed by hearing their city’s name from a star’s mouth would have been even more impressed at the undeniable double-your fun talent.

Rihanna was up first, with a set so calculated, she was in danger of being a black hole of spontaneity. (When the set list includes cues to “let audience applaud before starting,” you need to loosen up.) Her lack of risk was surpassed only by her lack of sincerity. To wit: “It feels so good to be here once again, in my favourite city in the world!” Think she said “Get lost, Stinktown” in Toronto?
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